Farmers' Market

Sunday I went to the Farmers' Market in Stockton. I got there around 1pm, and almost all the produce was gone. Lesson: If you are going to the Farmers' Market, make sure to get there early. I'll try again this Sunday. I hope I will have copious pictures of farmer fresh produce besides my cherries.

Coconut Scared Me

This is the coconut that I hacked opened. Never again! Never again! I need a coconut opener. When I am rich, I will hire someone just to hack open coconuts for me because I am afraid of the thing. Until I win the lotto, this food option is out of the question for me.

Coconut Incident of 2010

Last Friday, I opened my first coconut.

One, the whole idea of opening a coconut scares me.

Two, I had to use a knife to hack at the thing, which scared me because I had to get pretty violent with the knife, and I did not know how to hold the coconut in a safe manner.

Three, when I did open the coconut, I spilled half the water on the table; I had to suck it up and lick it up with my mouth off the table (yes, I am that cheap). After that, I could not drink the water that came out of it.

Four, I could not completely open the coconut. I wanted to use the meat to make a raw-vegan maki roll. After the hacking of the thing, the slurping up of spillage, the storage of the remaining coconut water, and then the clean-up. I felt grossed out. I still have the coconut water in my refrigerator; I trashed the coconut without harvesting the meat.

Five, I need someone to teach me the ways of the coconut because I cannot learn it from watching a video, or reading a book. I need a real, live person to hack the coconut, pour out the water, then prepare a meal from the meat.

Six, When I was in my early twenties, I tried to open a coconut, but ended up cutting myself pretty bad. I did not go to the hospital, and maybe I should have because when I went to work the next day, my supervisor Cami Chan had me see Ming (Color 2000’s first aid man). He spoke little English, but he did ask how I did it. I told him, “I was drunk, and I wanted to open a coconut, so I tried and almost sliced my finger off.” Ming disinfected it and gave me some antibiotics while he gave me a lecture, in his thick Cantonese accent, about using knives when drunk. He wrapped my hand, and gave me some bandages & meds to take home.
So Friday, I had some flash backs even though, I had one of those young Thai coconuts. It has been 18 years from the first coconut incident to the one of 2010. I can still see the mark between my ring and middle finger on my left hand.

Too many Hobbies

Ah, the first post of the month. Since school has started, I realize that I have too many hobbies. I’m doing the yoga, the zumba, the hoola, the guitar, the raw vegan eight week experiment, reading about food, creating recipes. It is too much, and my grades are starting to be affected. So, I have to let something go. Besides school, I am doing classroom observations (I’ll tell you about that--I met a vegan at the community college), which is at 8am. So, until I l get my hours done and feel confident in my reading, I have to change my extracurricular activities, so I am keeping the hoola and switching to salsa (that class starts at night). I will exercise a minimum of five days a week. I will do yoga on my own in the morning. I feel good.
But the real problem is the television. I am addicted to the noise. I cannot do my work at home—need to find a place near my home that I can go to, sit, and do my work for like five hours without getting kicked out. There is the bibliotheque, but the one downtown is not a place I feel safe at in the dark. So, I think I’ll try the one near the malls.

Pissed about my Grade
I guess I am upset because I got a check for my grade, and not a check+. Why the hell grade with these symbols when there is a legend at the bottom of the page that tells what each check symbol means? Why not give the letter grade? I knew it was going to suck because of the quote the instructor wants us to begin our reading responses with. I hate that! I really, really, hate starting my text with someone else’s words. Plus, I take notes for response. I have to cook for a while before I formulate my response.
I tried to talk to the instructor then she asked if I wanted to talk about it right then. I was not about to talk about my personal private stuff in a public forum (my classmates are still in the fucking room). Remember, English students are always trying to prove how smart they are—competitive. I have to find a new place to sit in class because I cannot concentrate. Most of the time, I don’t pay attention anyway. I just nod my head, and act like I am paying attention.
Now that I have whined about it, and made my excuses, I can get on with it.

Delta Community College
Yesterday, while I was walking at a rapid pace to make it the class I am observing on time. I saw this kid ( late teens) standing in the pouring rain with a stack of booklets that he was handing out. Something inside of me said, “Oh, look there is a vegan” then another part said, “No way, here, in meat central, he’s probably handing out some type of Christian literature.” So, I decided to give him a polite, but firm “No” if he spoke to me, or tried to give me one of his booklets. My defenses were up; I walked by, and he tried to hand me something. I said, “No thank you” and start to speed-up my walking pace.
Then as I was almost away from him, he said in the gentlest voice, “It’s for the animals.”
I stopped in my tracks, turned around, and said “It’s for the animals?”
I saw his face light up and he smiled brightly, “Yes.” I walked back to him, and took one of his booklets. He was with Vegan Action, spreading the word about the oppression and the violence farm animals endure, and the reasoning behind a vegan diet. My instincts told me this guys was a vegan. Another lesson on when I should listen to my little voice.

Plum Tree

I like this tree.

Nuts, Just Say No to Candy

Nuts are a life saver. Sometimes I want something meaty and fatty, the nuts feel the need as well as providing me with protein.

The past few days I’ve had some interesting experiences working my 8 week raw vegan experiment. I went to the Trader Joe’s to pick-up some raw Brazil Nuts. On my way into the store, there was a little girl (she was about 10 years old) selling See’s candy bars. She asked if I wanted to buy candy; immediately I said no. Then I saw her face sink with disappointment. I felt like a dick! Sometimes I can be rather rough without meaning to be; I stopped because I wanted to explain that I want to buy something from her, just not candy. I explained that I am a strict vegetarian, and the candy contains milk, eggs, and butter. I asked her if I can give her a buck, and we can call it even. She agreed to that.

School is testing my commitment to this raw experiment. Monday, I brought a few chopped vegetables and a bag of mixed raw nuts for lunch/dinner, and planned to purchase some lettuce at school to make a salad. Once I was done with the tutor workshop, I went to get my pay check then headed to the student union for food. The cafeteria was closed! I stood there for a while just staring—trying to process the meaning of the closed doors, and the closed sign. I had to eat with my fingers because I was hoping to get silverware in the dining area, and even the silverware was gone. Luckily, that morning I went to Jamba juice and had a wheatgrass shot and bought a juice for breakfast. For that experience, I realize that I have to make an effort to get a side salad ($1.69) before the cafeteria closes, and that I have to bring my food.

Salad with Blueberries

I had this salad the other day. It was awesomely delicious. This salad contains cucumbers, yellow bell pepper,Greek olives, jalapeno peppers, blueberries, broccoli, tomatoes,and citrons.

Carrot Juice

Went to the gym today and I did step for an hour and a half. The instructor was late—Why? Because she thinks we (the students in the class) do not like her. Oh, that sucks! Listen this is only my second time with this step-teacher, and I don’t know what has gone on in previous classes, but I tried to assure her that it was not true. But, I think deep down it was true because people where dropping like flies. By the end of the class there were only four of us left. And, I was tore up from the floor up. I could not wait for the class to be over, so I could go home and take shower. I did my best to spread love.

Today, I want to talk about carrots. I am thankful for carrots because they contain phytonutrients lutein-helps to reduce the build of plaque in the arteries and zeaxanthin—protects against macular degenerative diseases such as glaucoma. Carrots have anti-inflammatory properties, and can help relieve some of the inflammation involved in Arthritis Since I have glaucoma and my mom has arthritis, I like to make carrot juice regularly.

Get yourself a 5lbs bag of carrots an juice! Peace...

Magical Radish Shoots

My new favorite sprouts are radish shoots. Please try them. They look like clovers, and have a peppery taste. It is like eating a radish in a leaf. Radish shoots or sprouts add additional flavor to a salad or a wrap, and they are full of enzymes.

I like to add berries to my salads. This one has raspberries in it. Delicious.

This is my dinner for tonight. The salad, apples, and citrus fruit (pink grapefruit & limes).

The injured leg:

My leg is really getting better. In yoga today, I used my block only once because I had strength when I moved into pigeon from downward facing dog. Of course, after yoga class I had to do the Zumba. Sorry to say, my new name is crazy-arms. I could not coordinate my arms with my legs. The instructor and class were moving right and I was moving left.
I had loads of peppermint tea today; it’s cold and overcast, and I feel snugly. I have not drank enough water; feeling the thirst.

On the Spirit:

Yesterday, I had my first music class. It was so awesome to be in the music department. I miss being with artists. In the English department, most students are involved with showing how smart they are. When I entered the building I could breathe--a wave of relaxation flowed over my body. I was happy. I made a friend the first day; it is hard for me to make friends in English. We hung out after class and played with our guitars then we met this dude who is a musician; he plays stings and woodwind instruments. He played and sang to us for half an hour. He also showed us some cool stuff on the guitar. This was all possible because I told myself before I left my house to love the people and not to be an asshole.
Peace...

Mustard Greens, Watercress, and Dill Salad

The salad spinner has the mustard greens and watercress inside of it. On the plate, there are whole olives, grape tomatoes, chopped dill, cucumber, blood red orange slices, avocado, and lemon. In the bowl, I have some sliced mango, and in the sealed container I have garbanzo beans. This is what I ate last night.


Pictured here are the ingredients for my salsa ( I use this instead of salad dressing): tomato, tomatillos, jalapeno peppers, and garlic. Put all ingredients in a food processor with a little salt, half a cap of apple-cider vinegar, and lemon juice, blitz then refrigerate. It tastes better cold.

It's dill.

Watercress

mustard greens, be adventurous with your salad. You can eat other greens besides romaine lettuce.
Peace........

Today is a good day

Today is a good day. I went to the gym. I had a pretty mellow workout even with my leg. Yoga released tension that I have been carrying around for a longtime. The snake pose was liberating; my back stopped hurting. When I was meditating in this pose, it felt like air entered my body and made space.
After yoga, I did the zumba with weights. My arms are blown. I’m glad that tomorrow I have class at 9 am, so I won’t go to the gym. This semester, Thursday will be my day off from the gym.

I've almost completed the first week of my 8 week raw vegan plan; look at what I am eating and drinking today.


Toppings for a spinach & basil salad that I am eating right now. There is avocado, mushrooms, olives, orange bell pepper, and cucumber.

Today, I made a cucumber, carrot, jalapeno pepper, and celery juice. It was refreshing. I can really taste the cucumber,and cucumber is good for the skin. And, I need help with my skin right now because of that gigantic zit on my left cheek. Why do zits have to be on the cheek why not the side of the face near the ear where not one will see? Ah, me, anon (hehehe).

I want to give a shout out to Celery. Yes, you beautiful tall, lean, slightly green, vegetable. You are full of nutritious life-water, and are an excellent source of fiber. Celery is a good source of potassium, calcium, and magnesium. I also want to thank orange bell pepper for its lutein, a vital nutrient for people with glaucoma. Like me..

another picture of my salad toppings. Peace & Soul

Dan the Man on juicing

Be Aware of Negative Self Talk

I want to train myself to be aware of the negative thoughts that come into my head and then let them go. Examples of negative thoughts: “I’m too fat,” “I’m not good enough,” “Good things never happen to me,” “Life sucks.” This is programming from others that I have adopted as my own thoughts.
The spotlight on this came to me when I was watching Letsgetraw youtube channel. She wants to be a raw foodist so bad, but cannot turn the corner. I think she should try to be vegan first then hit the raw side of life because raw is hardcore vegetarianism. She makes informative videos about beginning a raw diet, foods that one can choose, the health benefits of a raw diet, and how a raw diet aids in significant weight loss for those who have excess weight. And yet, she misses the key component of the raw diet—the spirit. If the spirit is not ready, there is nothing the body can do to get the spirit to move. Change moves in waves; sometimes it flows quickly as if one has been hit by lightening. Other times change’s movement is barely felt, and yet change is happening. It is the only constant.
With that being said, I think both Letsgetraw and myself need to just relax and let it happen. Letsgetraw inspirational speeches have a slight negative bent. She calls herself a failure for not losing weight. She gets angry at herself for needing cooked food. I do the same thing, get angry at myself for need. I saw (and still see) myself in her. We are both wrapped up in perfectionism. There is no perfection, life is messy; learning is messy, and it is okay.
A thought came to me about cleansing the body, so the spirit can focus. I feel like I am clearing toxins out of my body, so I can move in a higher vibration. It’s just a thought.
Okay, People, I am out of here. I wish you peace, eye candy everywhere you go, and love.

Check out Letsgetraw talk about her one year journey as a raw foodist.

Nicole's Motivational Picture

Nicole's fighting weight. This is me when I felt healthy and fit before I moved to Stockton. I use this photo as motivation. It was my postcard when I was acting. I think I have about 5 months to go before I will be back at my fighting weight. Then my back will feel good, and my knees will not hurt. The more my health improves, the more my size will move to normal ranges for a person my height.

To increase my mental fitness, I think I need to start performing again. Not, show business, just for fun. I am putting wheels in motion. I have to start writing more, so I will have material. Performing will give me a release.